Lucky 13
I’m having a celebratory lunch at Oddfellas Cantina today. It will be a quiet lunch. Probably just myself or anyone who happens to wander by.
The celebration? Thirteen years of sobriety: 156 months or 676 weeks or 4,748 days without a drink (including three extra days for Leap Years).
I’d been a hard drinker for more than 30 years when I took that first step on June 6, 1994. A variety of reasons led to the decision. Like so many alcoholics, my life crashed around me. Personal and professional problems, fueled by single-malt scotch, closed in and I walked into a basement room of a Lutheran Church in Arlington, Virginia, to gather with other fellow travelers and become a friend of Bill W.
I, alone, was responsible for the drinking that led me to that point in my life but my road back has never been a solo trip. The love of my wife, the support of long-suffering friends and the never-wavering help of a strong support group provided much needed companionship along the way.
It would have been easy for my friends and my wife to wash their hands and walk away. Alcoholics abuse friends and loved ones in many, horrible ways. Some gave up. I didn’t blame them then or now. They deserved better. But others stuck it out and, along with Amy, provided the support I needed to battle 30 years of addiction to the bottle.
That’s why I take friendship so seriously. People who deserved better stuck by me and never, ever, asked for anything in return. Because of their love and support I vowed to never take advantage of a friend and to try and always be there when they needed help.
And it still isn’t easy for those who call themselves my friends. Dealing with alcoholism also means dealing with rage and anger management is an ongoing challenge for an alcoholic.
The urge to drink vanished long ago but I’m not foolish enough to believe the battle is over. An alcoholic can’t go back. One misstep and the long battle starts over, one day at a time.
That’s why I will also visit some other friends in a non-descript room where cigarette smoke fills the air and the coffee flows freely. There will be people I know and new faces that I will come to know.
And I will get up in front of those friends – old, new and just-met – take a sip from my cup of coffee and say:
"Hi, I’m Doug and I’m an alcoholic."
Congratulations! A gift of grace to be thankful for.
Way to go, Doug.
Congratulations, Doug!
I checked in this morning to add my thoughts to the ongoing debate on your comments about those who want to change Floyd County but when I read about your 13th anniversary I decided this was a better place to post.
Congratulations. Your comeback should serve as an inspiration to others who face addiction.
I find the fact that you are a recovering alcoholic a revelation into your character as well as an explantion of the passion I see in your writing and the incredible sensitivity in your photography.
I think that some who find fault with your positions mistake passion for anger or bitterness. I see no bitterness in what you write but rather a deep passion that comes from strong beliefs and a compassion for others and your community.
Don’t let the snap judgments of others rob you of that passion. You serve your community and your profession well and I applaud not only your victory over addiction but your commitment to your fellow human beings.
Keep the faith.
I’m sure, that for you, the sobriety is sufficient. For me, your willingness to expose your life so openly, speaks volumes about your character. I think you’re an anomaly on the internet, and one for which I am very thankful.
You should be proud of reaching this milestone and I am proud to know you. You are a good man with a huge heart.
Doug, I know a number of “dry” alcoholics and they all tell me that each day without a drink, is one more day of subriety – and living a better life. So to reach 13 YEARS of sobriety IS certainly worth celebrating! I believe your struggle is worth it: you are a pationate guy, with many good things to say. Just keep on talking, as its more important now than ever! I, for one, value what you say here – and on Capitol Hill Blue! First thing I read in the AM. Keep up the good work – and I hop the lunch was a good one! elgee
Living clean/sober is surely a strange journey. With all the new awakenings of spirit, there comes a firm resolve to “stand for something, or fall for anything” that you have mastered well. Come September I’ll celebrate 25 years, and I still consider myself to be a newcomer. If anything, the more time I’m given, the narrower the road gets.
Congratulations!