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You might be a redneck
Doug Thompson March 28, 2008 - 7:25am.
A ton of email flowing in over the electronic transom, most containing recycled Jeff Foxworthy "you might be a redneck" jokes.
The earlier post about the woman who wanted to know if we had many "hicks" in Floyd County sparked this influx of redneck humor.
Our favories so far...
If you go to family reunions to meet girls...you might be a redneck...
If your daddy walks you to school because you're both in the same grade...you might be a redneck.
If you get Christmas presents made out of shotgun shells...you might be a redneck.
If you cut the grass in your front yard and find more than one car...you might be a redneck.
If you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy...you might be a redneck.
If you've ever been too drunk to fish...you might be a redneck.
If you've ever financed a tattoo...you might be a redneck.
Next week: Who know? Maybe hippie jokes.
YARL
Yet Another Redneck Line:
You might be a redneck if you look at duct tape as an investment.
A long time ago there were a
A long time ago there were a series of jokes going around in my circle about Americans. It was partly poking fun at traditional stereotypes and partly sarcasm against 'ethnic' jokes. At least it was when we did it. Sadly, I can't remember too many of them. But the idea was to tell them in a series,
Q: How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb.
A: One
(This one is a gimme, a set-up for the payoff at the end.)
Q: What did the American do when he saw a man drowning?
A: Called the police to come save him.
Usually some other people thought some up on the spot and added them, or told ones they had heard. As it winds down, you repeat the first one about the light bulb, but this time the answer is,
"Actually, it takes MANY Americans to change a light bulb. First they make them at the light bulb factory. Then American truck drivers drive them to the stores to be sold. And Americans buy them at the store and drive home on highways built by Americans...." And so on.
Although I guess these days the punchline might not be the same, because now the lightbulb is probably made in China....
If your porch collapses and
If your porch collapses and kills more than six dogs, you might be a redneck.
;)
Sean
Might be if:
You check you pockets and you got more shell casing than coins. You really might be if some are live...
You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.
You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Most of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.
Your speakers used to belong to the Starlight Drive-in Theater.
You believe that Vienna Sausages and Moon Pies,
are two of the major food groups.
Anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
No offense y'all.
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