The phone is ringing? So what? Let it ring
Oh misery, misery, mumble and moan;
Someone invented the telephone.
Awakening a nation from its slumbers;
Ringing wrong, but similar numbers.
(Odgen Nash: The History of America)
"Tried reaching you on your cell phone the other day," an agitated friend said. "You didn’t answer."
Told him I was probably in the car…or possibly on my motorcycle: Two places where I never answer the cell phone.
"I don’t understand," he said. "The whole point of a cell phone is so people can get ahold of you."
I disagree. If you stop whatever you’re doing — or put yourself or other motorists at risk by answering a ringing phone — you are letting the phone rule your life.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
When I get home at night, I turn my cell phone off and stick it in the charger. When I turn it back on in the morning, there might be a half-dozen calls and/or voice mails that came in overnight. Not one tried me on our home phone.
Same for the office phone. People call your cell phone first and some don’t try a landline if you don’t answer the cell.
My cell phone is always set to vibrate, not ring. If it’s laying on a desk or in a jacket pocket, I won’t hear it while I’m sitting at my desk. Sometimes, when the phone is in the holster on my belt, it will vibrate with an incoming call while I’m on my office phone. I don’t stop talking on one phone to answer another. For one thing, it’s rude.
How many times have you waited in line to pay a check or make a deposit at a bank only to have the phone ring right when you get to the cashier or teller and they answer the phone rather than help you? Happens to me more often than it should.
Many people can’t ignore a ringing phone. I can. Those with something to say can use voice mail to leave a message or simply call back. I don’t answer phones when I’m driving or riding, I don’t answer phones when I’m busy and I don’t answer phones when I’m at home enjoying quality time with my wife. I don’t answer calls that show up as "unavailable" on caller ID or those with 800 numbers that don’t identify the caller. Most are sales calls that find a way to get around the "don’t call" registry and they never, ever, leave a message.
Phones don’t control my life. Never have, never will.
Some people (well not saying it’s me
) afraid to receive phone call, and some people feel high level stress when their phone start ringing.
I am totally in agreement! My answering machine message occasionaly includes the phrase: “If you don’t leave a message, I won’t return your call.”
My telephones are for my convenience, not theirs! If I really wish to receive their calls, I will return the cell phone call after I stop, but when I am driving, the only call I stop for is from my brother, 12000 miles away. Others can wait.
For that same reason, I will not pay extra for Caller ID or Call Waiting. It is exceptionally rude for the person who called you to put you on hold, allowing them to answer a call from someone else.
Amen, Doug! The phone does not have to be answered everytime it rings. That is why we have the convenience of answering machines and voice mail.
When people ask me how I get so much writing done, I usually tell them (quite truthfully) “I turn off the TV”. But reading this post, I realized that this answer is incomplete: I also have Caller ID and won’t answer the phone except for a small handful of people who know not to call me while I’m writing, and thus wouldn’t unless it was something important.
It’s amazing how much time that saves–enough to knock out a few pages of text a day!
Jen–
My Dad has a solution for telemarketers and other such calls that I’ve also employed to great (and fun) effect: When they call, he tells them, “I charge a $25 solicitation fee. So you’re welcome to talk to me, but I’ll have to get your credit card number first”. In 20 years that has yet to fail to get them off the phone!
I’m SO with you on this. Didn’t even own a cell phone until recently; only caved because the kids are doing a lot of activities and I can’t be all places at once. But it’s pay-as-you-go and for emergencies only. I don’t answer the landline phone if it’s an unlisted number calling me. I don’t answer the phone if I don’t feel like answering the phone. It drives my husband CRAZY. He answers every call and then tries to give telemarketers to me even when I’ve told him not to answer it. I’m always polite when I do answer, but I am not here for YOUR convenience and you are interrupting my important whatever. I also have been known to not answer the door if people are canvassing the neighborhood. Yes, I’m an antisocial rebel. Just call me a proud troglodyte…
Doug, your first sentence hooked me!
“Tried reaching you on your cell phone the other day,” an agitated friend said. “You didn’t answer.”
Cell phones have created an expectation of availability, where the “new normal” is that people can reach us any time, any place. People like you and me upset folks because we don’t play by “their” rules.
Another thing you said: “…I don’t answer phones when I’m at home enjoying quality time with my wife”. I don’t either, but what a shame that marketers have degraded the importance of a simple phone call to something to be ignored. There was a time that when the phone rang, we knew it was a friend or family (or possibly the occasional wrong number), not some sleazy snake oil salesman trying to sell us extended warranties for our cars or replacement windows. What a shame that when the phone rings, we expect it to be a nuisance rather than a friend or loved one. A pox on telemarketers!
And finally, when the economy took a dive, my employer came around announcing pay cuts. I’d been thinking of cutting the thether anyway, so I ditched the Alltel, got a Tracfone, only gave the number to my family and very close friends, and told everyone else (including my employer) that due to pay cuts I could no longer afford a cell phone. Poor me! I must say the newfound peace and quiet is worth the pay cut!
Jim
Amen, Doug!! Telephones really have become a tyrannical force in our lives, haven’t they? I have call waiting but I very, very rarely use it – only when I am expecting an important call. I have a cell phone provided by my employer but I don’t own one myself. And since AT&T prohibits cell phone usage when driving, that takes care of that little problem (if I was inclined to talk and drive anyway!) Cell phones are handy, but they need to be kept under control, just like TV. I really wish people would turn off their cell phones when they are in meetings and at concerts!! How rude and distracting!
Five years ago after a few months of exorbitant rates, draconian rules and phone calls that thought they owned me, I went old school.
No cell phone brain tumor, pocket draining, codependent superglue for me. Ka Ching!
Color me independent of that scam
It’s amazing how much time that saves–enough to knock out a few pages of text a day