It was obvious from watching fallen football star Michael Vick’s carefully-scripted performance on 60 Minutes Sunday that the former Virginia Tech quarterback is on a professional redemption tour.

Vick feigned sorrow for his dogfighting days, professed a new found appreciation for animals and declared he has found God.

That’s great news. We didn’t know God was missing. We glad Michael kicked off his public apology crusade by announcing he has located the missing deity.

Said Vick:

The first day I walked into prison, and he slammed that door, I knew the magnitude of the decision that I made, and the poor judgment, and what I allowed to happen to the animals. And, you know, it’s no way of explaining the hurt and the guilt that I felt. And that was the reason I cried so many nights. And that put it all into perspective.

Wow. Such profound sentiments. Wonder who wrote it for him? Those who knew Vick in college say he had trouble stringing two declarative sentences together.

Vick also vowed to work to put and end to dogfighting. Uh huh. And there will be pork in the treetops by morning.