When they handed out smarts, Martin C. Mateo must have been out to lunch. Mateo, an illegal immigrant who calls North Carolina home, came to Floyd County last year in search of deer. That, in itself, ranked as dumb and stupid in more ways than one.

First, it wasn’t deer season. Second, Mateo didn’t have a hunting license. Third, he fired at the animals from his van on the road — a big no-no. Fourth, he decided to take a shot at one deer at 2 in the morning — in front of Sheriff Shannon Zeman’s home.

The rifle shot, of course, woke Zeman up and he jumped into his patrol car and chased Mateo’s van down. When backup deputies arrived, they searched the van and found a dead possum, a rifle, a revolver and two bags of cocaine. Mateo gave a fake name — Jose Alvardo — and admitted buying the cocaine and the guns in North Carolina and said he came to the Old Dominion to hunt for food, having exhausted his available cash, no doubt, buying the guns and drugs.

By the time Floyd County’s justice system finished with Mateo on Tuesday, he got 20 years in the slammer on five charges but also got nailed on gun and drug charges by the feds and still faces charges in North Carolina. Plus the INS will be waiting when he gets out of jail to send him back to Mexico.

Oh yeah. Circuit Judge Ray W. Grubbs took away Mateo’s Virginia driver’s license for six months. Which begs the question. How did an illegal immigrant who claims to live in North Carolina get a Virginia driver’s license?