What does one do when time runs out?

If the body gives up, it is time to just walk away?

Friends and readers of this website have asked: “Why have you stopped updating it?”

Two reasons: Old age and health problems related to it.

I’m 76 years old and, for the first time in my life, I am feeling my age. I was down for much of last year with a prolonged battle with cellulitis that almost rewuired amputating my left leg.

Late in the year, I may have suffered a stroke. I say “may” because the doctors aren’t sure. I fell in my front yard and broke nine bones in my fingers, hand and wrist on my left hand, which is a problem for someone who is left-handed.

Brain scans showed indications of micro-strokes in past months and, possibly a mini-stroke that caused the fall. Although the bones have healed, I’m having trouble with closing my left hand . grip thing and suffer a lack of strength on hte left side of my body, probably caused by a stroke.

I’m in physical therapy and rehab now. Most of the time, I need to use a cabe to walk. Memory problems are increasing. So is an ability to focus on things. I’m having trouble with my fight eye, which was injured in a motorcycle accident in 2012 and my hearing requires use of headphones when covering court for The Floyd Press. The eye I’m having problems with is the one I use in a viewfinder in a camera, which limits my ability to shoot sports photos for the paper and for this website.

To complicate matters, I also have symptoms of early onset dementia, which is normal for someone who have suffered a “massive brain trauma,” which I did in the motorcycle accident 12 years ago.

When someone asks how I’m feeing, my general anaswer is “that depends on which doctor I’;m talking to.”

It is not a joke. The doctor treating my likely stoke has me on a derivative of “Ritalin,” the drug used to treat attention deficit disorders for kids and those for us older kids in our 70s. It is also used to treat memeory problems and other issues of strokes.

I will be in court this week for the paper and hope also to shoot sports photos but I do so wiht the knowledge that my ability to do so may soon become impossible. Reporting and shooting photos as a photojournalist has been my life for more than 60 years. For the most part, it is all I have done or know to do in life. I’ a one trick pony.

Hopefully, the therapy and medications will help.

Time will tell but, at this point, time may not be on my side.

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© 2021 Blue Ridge Muse