The sunset of life

A sunset over the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia.

I took a ride into the area recently to clear my head and ponder recent events.  As regular readers of this web site know, I have been dealing with issues revolving around the sunset of life — not my own but of a loved one.

Dealing with the long, lingering decline of someone close to us is devastating — both for those of us closest to that loved one and those around us. For several months now, my family’s life has been an emotional rollercoaster and the stain of dealing with the unending stream of highs and lows is taking its toll.

I walked into the bank this week and one of the tellers looked at me and said “you look like you’e about to drop.”

She was right. I’m drained physically, emotionally and spiritually. I’ve lost too many loved ones in my life but most of those deaths have been sudden and unexpected.  Dealing with a long, slow decline eats away at you and rips apart your soul.

I’m difficult to live with in the best of times. Friends often express amazement at Amy’s ability to put up with me through more than 30 years of marriage. I’m stubborn, opinionated, judgmental, arrogant and quick to criticize others for their shortcomings. But lately I’ve taken those traits to extremes. My temper flares too easily, my ability to focus is gone and attention to details has suffered. My recent overkill on the Floyd Town Manager issue is one example but it’s not the only one.

I’m going to back away for a while, take some time to regain perspective and — with luck — rediscover the joy of living.

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4 COMMENTS

  1. Shy of your motorcycle therapy you might need to consult with a physician and get a prescription for antidepressants. Hey, 80 million Americans can’t be wrong. I’m personally adverse to such, but who am I to criticize others who just might need a leg up from “Big Pharma”. : )

    Don’t continue to stew in your own juices. It’s senseless and there is help. Besides our entire paradigm of life/death, good/bad, light/dark, good vs. bad are a function of functional brain chemistry. It you don’t have such due to stress, poor nutrition or lack of close emotional support, then you are cruisin’ for a crisis in your life. Good luck… : )

    Thanks for the great photo too.

    Carl Nemo **==

    • Carl, as a recovering alcoholic I stay away from any medication stronger than aspirin. I have no desire to trade one addiction for another and I find that the mind can deal with just about anything through focus, determination and the support of loved ones.

  2. “good/bad…good vs. bad”

    My apologies for the double reference to good vs. bad. Simply a brainfart on my part.

    Carl Nemo **==

  3. Thanks for the reply. Although not a recovering alcoholic, my all time favorite nostrum is 500 mg of Bayer aspirin and on occasion some Advil or similar anti inflammation medication for my back condition.

    Like yourself I’m adverse to antidepressants. My comments were simply gestured in good faith. It seems you’ve got your bases covered. : )

    Carl Nemo **==

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